Why putting English off can be a sign that you’ve forgotten something important

You know, there’s a story I hear all the time when I’m teaching English.

It’s the ‘My teacher told me I was no good at English’ story. Or the ‘Everyone laughed at my English’ story. Or the ‘Everyone around me was way better at English than I was, so I kept my mouth shut’ story. Or the “I had to work like crazy at English because of my ADHD/dyslexia/…. and no-one saw how hard it was for me” story.

Then the tears start flowing and people often get angry.

Often these stories have become buried under years of other experiences and you are not even aware of them anymore. You’ve internalised the stories you heard and started to believe what someone else told you about yourself. They have become your truth about yourself.

And then you have to do something in English and it just isn’t happening like you think it should. Which means you’re having problems doing the things you need to do for your business.  That’s frustrating! And it probably adds another layer to your story. Told you so!

Why is a squeaky clean house suddenly the most important thing I need to do?

Stories start to rise to the surface when you run into an invisible barrier. An invisible barrier is a feeling that you should avoid something, but you can’t quite put your finger on why that is. You find yourself coming up with urgent things which need to be done first and somehow you don’t quite get round to doing what you know you really need to do. That creates frustration. Why am I not doing what I need to do? Why can’t I just make myself do what has to be done?

Recognise any of these?

  • Knowing you need to do Facebook Lives in English, but you never quite seem to do them.
  • Never quite getting your English website finished.
  • Organising a webinar but you don’t go all out marketing it, because deep down you’re afraid people will turn up and watch you mess up.
  • You have marketing emails in your own language and want to have them in English too, but there’s something holding you back from writing them.
  • You know your skills could help lots of people achieve wonderful things but you are hiding what you do from the world.

Answered Yes to any of these? Then there is an invisible barrier at work.

Your story about English comes from the past

A story can really mess with your head, because that’s not how you are anymore. You’re out there, in the marketplace, running your business, growing, evolving, earning money. Feeling small doesn’t fit that. That contrast leads to feelings of frustration and you can start to doubt yourself. Which, in turn, leads to more avoiding. It’s a vicious cycle.

How to find and let go of your story  

During English lessons I encourage people to try things you’ve never done before. New things you need to do for your business. That’s often when a story emerges. Clients try to practise something and it just isn’t happening. That’s when I know they’ve found an invisible barrier.

It doesn’t usually take very long from finding an invisible barrier to finding out what is going on inside. You are probably listening to that old voice talking at you, without even realising it.

When I’m coaching I help you to listen to your story and to let it go. From there, we can put English to work for you and your online business. So, you can achieve what you want to achieve, without the frustration. (Note: the house won’t be as clean, so you might want to plan in some extra time for that)

My take on your story about English

Listening to these stories makes me feel sad and angry at the same time. Because someone back then didn’t take good enough care of you. Someone should have given you a hug and encouraged your efforts, instead of going for a cheap joke. Someone in a position of power should have taken better care of themselves so they could take better care of you. Someone’s meanness, bad temper or inability found a new home in you.   

But it is good that your story is finally seeing daylight. You can’t fix what you’re not aware of. So, feel the sadness of that 13 year old girl who was laughed at. Or feel the anger that you couldn’t express back then, so you can leave it behind you and move on. Take your feelings from back then seriously. Realise that someone was being unkind and that you didn’t deserve it. Then grow from it.

Trust is essential

These changes don’t happen overnight. My clients need to feel able to trust me first and they need to have a good reason to dare to change.

I use my coaching skills, knowledge and life experience to help you overcome your barriers. It’s my privilege to help you and I have deep respect for the courage it takes to be this vulnerable.

My biggest kick is seeing my clients smile, taking a new step in their life and their business.

My invitation to you

Are you running into invisible barriers when you need to boost your business? Is English holding you back from achieving the success you know, deep down, you are capable of?

Like to find out if I could help you? Book a free, no obligation 30 minute discovery call to find out.

Listen to an audio version of this blog here