’No’ is a tricky word in English. If you say “No” by itself, you’re likely to sound irritated or even angry. I call it the Naked No. If a Brit uses the naked No, you can safely assume that you’re in trouble.
So what should you do if you need to say ‘No’? Well, then it’s useful to have a couple of alternatives ready, like these:
- I’m afraid we won’t be able to do that
- Unfortunately that won’t be possible
- I’m sorry, we no longer offer that product
- I would love to be able to help you, but…..
- I’m really sorry, but we aren’t able to….
- That’s an interesting approach, let us have a think about that
- Could you tell me some more about your aim with this?
You basically use (a combination of) these strategies:
- Use a softener to start a sentence, such as “I’m afraid” or “I’m sorry”
- It’s important that it doesn’t seem like you’re unwilling to do something. It’s better to suggest that you are unable to do something.
- Delay in a polite way
- Ask questions to get more clarity, so that you can reject something after thinking about it.
Hmm, writing this down needs a lot of words and it’s difficult to explain it clearly. That’s how native English works. Expect to use more words that you might need in your own language, especially if you want to say something negative. It’s more important to be careful than clear!
Have you ever said “No” in English which didn’t go as expected? What happened?
Thanks Lynn, it sounds like a “game”: How to say “no” in a nice way. Do you know if it is the same in the USA? Or can you be more clear there?
Well, it is a sort of “game”, but I tend to think of it as a dance. One step forwards, two steps back. As long as everyone knows the dance, you don’t bump into each other or step on each other’s toes! This way of communicating IS clear for Brits, but is difficult to understand for speakers of other languages. It does also depend where someone comes from, in the UK as well as in other countries like the US. Glaswegians are more direct than people from Surrey (near London). New Yorkers are a lot more direct than Southerners. You need to feel your way by trying it out.
We come quite often in Canada.most of my family lives there. I suppose the many canadiens have the same attitude as the british, but not immigrants from dutch origine.
Hi Theo, thanks for your reaction. The Canadians I’ve met have all been polite and very keen not to be seen as Americans. But, they don’t want to be seen as an ex-British colony either anymore. So Canadian is an interesting mix of influences (Quebecois of course as well as lots of other nationalities nowadays). I really must go and visit some day.
The members of the British parllament have no problem with “No”. Many of them don’t behave very politely. I am curious to know what news we will have tomorrow. It must be difficult for you. ( we don’t like it either)